Tuesday, October 16, 2007


Remember back in the day, when you could put your bra on and not have to adjust your boobs to make sure they fit in the cup properly? What kind of bullshit is this? Thank you pregnancy. I'm all saggy and droopy and I'm not even thirty! I'm just the "Mom Blob". The tummy tuck helped of course. But now, instead of looking like the female version of Buddha, I resemble one of those African tribeswoman you see on the cover of National Geographic. All I need now is a grass skirt and a couple of plates in my lower lip and I can party too. Woo hoo! Once again, thank you jebus for plastic surgeons.


Lauren said...

Ok, you're crackin my ass up with the boob thoughts! I know, it's like thanks for giving me a wonderful child, but with that I got dried up sacks where my boobs used to be, extra skin on my stomach, stretch marks on my ass and always look like a crack whore who hasn't slept in 2 days!

Chris said...

The boobies are perfect, as is everything else. I have no complaints....

Nuthin' But Net said...

Don't forget the weird "neck stretch rings" or whatever they're called.

Those complete the outfit.


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