Tuesday, January 20, 2009


As I watched the inauguration of our 44th president, I was struck by the excitement in the crowd. There was something new being shown by the American people. You could see it on the face of the masses. Hope for change is here people! President Obama is going to make change happen. I believe that. It's a great thing to feel hope again. It's a great thing to feel that a time for renewal has truly begun. Democracy is back with a vengeance and we need to come together and unite if we really want order to be restored.

And as for Mr. Bush... well let's just pray that Congress will decide to charge him for the heinous crimes he has committed against the American people and against all of humanity. His reign of terror and greed is over. His reign of tyranny is over. He is over. It's been a VERY long eight years. It's been a very depressing, frustrating eight years. But, it's over now. Goodbye Mr. Bush. May you be treated as well as you treated us all. May you be thought of as much as you have thought of us. And one day may you face the true consequences of your actions. You are the reason I believe in the death penalty Mr. Ex-President. There is a special place in hell for you. And it will not be long before you are completely forgotten.

Yes We Can! Yes We Can! Yes We Can!

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Happy Thanksgiving!

Since the holiday season has now officially begun. As usual I must reflect upon the things that I am most thankful for. Some are old, some are new, some are silly, but hey it's my goddamn list right?

1) My husband (the man puts up with me and all my tremendous crap and yet he still gets the urge to buy me jewelry)

2) My children (they're smart and beautiful and total smartasses...just like me. How could I not love them? lol)

3) My family (Yes, they're still completely nuts but now some of us are more medicated so it's all good)

4) My friends (These are the people that keep me from killing the other people on the list lol! Year after year we laugh together, make fun of eachother, and usually get stinking drunk together. These people are my family and I love them all dearly. Thanks for ALL the good times)

5) Plastic surgery, jewelry, designer purses, booze & chocolate ( no explanation required)

And finally, especially with the current financial crisis this country is in, I am thankful to have a roof over my head (thank you Chris), food in the fridge (thank you Chris), a car to drive (thank you Chris), and clothes on my back (again thank you Chris). It's amazing how grateful you feel for the simple things in life when you see that there are millions of people who can't say the same.

P.S. Oh yeah I forgot to mention homosexuals. I am VERY grateful for the gays. Not only do they make the greatest shopping buddies but they will also tell you if your ass looks big in a pair of pants and you can go out with them anytime you want without your husband getting jealous. I love the gays!!! Yay for gays!!!

Happy Thanksgiving everybody!

Monday, September 8, 2008

Holy Frickin Crap!

Ok so I'm a little in shock. My daughters are starting preschool tomorrow! And yes I know we're just starting them off at 2 days a week but it's still a big deal to me.

Is it just me or is time flying by? I guess that's part of being an adult... we get so busy with our lives we don't even notice the years going by. Not that I'm complaining :)

I just remember when the girls were born and it still feels like it wasn't that long ago. And yet, it has been. They're four and a half now. They're little people now. It's weird to me. I think I understand parents better now. I think I know now why my own mom still worries about all of us and still hopes we make good decisions for ourselves. Being a parent doesn't ever end. It's this infinite thing. I know now that I'm going to look at my kids in 2o, 30, and 40 years and think to myself, "it wasn't that long ago..."

What in the hell did we get ourselves into? It's the best and worst thing in the world. Isn't it amazing that WE are responsible for sending functional and worthy human beings out into the world? Us? I wonder if all people think this way? I wonder if everyone worries about this stuff? Does worrying about it make us better parents? To be perfectly honest, I feel like I'm already failing them somehow. I already have regrets about things I could or should have done better. Damn, I'm turning into my mother lol!

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

The Root of All Evil

I was watching Lewis Black's show the other day and couldn't help but laugh my ass off when I saw what the big debate was all about. Apparently they were trying to decide who was more evil. Was it going to be Dick Cheney or Paris Hilton? The funniest part was that I really had to think about it for a few minutes. I mean, on one hand you have the VP of the United States who (as far as I'm concerned) is helping in the total destruction of our country. But on the other hand you have this celebutante who likes to dress up cockapoos and fucks the has been ex-husbands of Shannon Doherty. Do you see my dilemma? Of course in the end it was good ol' Dick who won the "most evil". I'm sure there are plenty of whores around who like to dress up small animals in humiliating costumes. But there are only a very select few who can run the country into the shitter without anyone noticing.

Dick, Paris is merely an amateur whore compared to the likes of you. My congratulations to you. You are and always will be the most evil.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008


I really hate it when I'm looking all over for my sunglasses and then I realize they're on top of my head. That's the shit that really makes me feel old.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

8 More Days!

I am so excited! We leave for El Paso next Friday. I get to spend the whole weekend kickin it with some of my best friends and drinking beer. It just doesn't get better than that! I can't wait to see you guys. It's SO on like Donkey Kong.

Friday, December 21, 2007

A Lonely Jew on Christmas


You know for the record we Jews love Christmas too! I think one of my favorite Christmas memories, from my childhood, was the first year that I had voiced my opinion about how much I loved Christmas trees. So my mother, in an effort to make me happy, went out and bought a little Christmas tree for me. She brought it home and painted it white, then she put these huge, shiny blue balls on it for me. Then she asked me, "honey do you like you're Hanukkah bush? LOL!

That's still one of the funniest holidays I can remember. I hope everyone has a wonderful Hanukkah and Christmas. Have fun and be safe and I'll see you in the New Year!